Does Not Compute
by Mirror and Image
Summary: [Complete]. Season 2 finale tag scene. Chopper hears the command prompts of KananJarrus, but it does not compute.


**Does Not Compute**

Mirror and Image

" _Chopper! Am I glad to hear you!_ "

Well, of course KananJarrus was glad to hear Chopper. Everyone was glad Chopper was there because he was the most solid and dependable member of the crew. He just always needed to remind the crew of that, since he was under-appreciated by everyone other than CaptainHeraSyndulla.

And it was time to remind these organics _again_ why he needed to be appreciated. After all, he'd been monitoring sensors and he'd found-

" _We need a pick up._ "

Well _of course_ they did! There was a TIE fighter inbound! That meant trouble! They had waited around here long enough, it was time to get moving!

" _A TIE fighter? Are you sure?_ "

Chopper gave a very irritated grunt. _Yes_ , of _course_ he was sure! What did KananJarrus think he was? A MSE droid or some other useless collection of parts? CaptainHeraSyndulla had modified him and worked hard on him, he was fully equipped to do something as simple as _reading input_ , and for KananJarrus to question-

" _I know, Chop_ ," Kanan said. " _Get the_ Phantom _and come to my position. I'll need you to get me up to the top of the temple._ "

Well that made no sense _at all_ , but Chopper _whumped_ an affirmative nonetheless and initiated the _Phantom_ 's engines startup routines. He could properly question such an illogical command prompt once he was with KananJarrus in person. With an electrical prod if necessary. Because command prompts and subroutines needed to make _sense_.

Chopper, with the most precision and ease of anyone outside of CaptainHeraSyndulla, guided the _Phantom_ through the labyrinth of ashed and stoned architecture and bodies turned to some form of either condensed ash or soft stone. Chopper didn't really care to spare the parallel processors to try and either scan or figure out what had happened to reduce such a massive number of organics to inorganics. He'd only care if that came to happen to one of the Crew variables, and then he'd start diverting logic subroutines to figuring it out. For now, why bother? It was memory storage and didn't affect the current inputs.

He found KananJarrus's transmitter easily, on one of the lower ledges of the tetrahedral temple, just kneeling there.

That didn't compute at all.

If KananJarrus called for a pick up, then there should be blasters and stormtroopers or Inquisitors or some sort of chaos. Nothing ever went according to the program. It was a constant. KananJarrus made a program, something changed. Invariably and without question. There had already been changes in the program with just how _long_ they were staying on planet with dangers lurking behind Inquisitors and whatever the temple held. But to call for a pick up and for there to _not_ be explosions and running and gunning? Just what had happened to KananJarrus's central processor?

KananJarrus was kneeling and hunched forward on the wide ledge of the temple, his back to where Chopper had set down the _Phantom_. "Chopper?" he asked.

 _Asked_.

Chopper was going to let KananJarrus have a piece of his processor. Just what had altered all of KananJarrus's subroutines? They weren't making sense and left very odd outputs that Chopper was _certain_ needed an error diagnosis. Maybe some rewriting of code.

He used his rocket to get out of the _Phantom_ , and Chopper wheeled right over the to malfunctioning KananJarrus, grunting and whumping, trying to figure out what was wrong to make the unit defective.

"Chopper," KananJarrus said with relief. "Get me to the _Phantom_. Then get me to the top of the temple and take me to Ezra. I'm sure he's up there."

That _still_ made no sense! The input did not compute. Why didn't KananJarrus use the stairs that were _right there_ and go up to save EzraBridger from whatever was causing that hideous visual output above?

KananJarrus turned and Chopper stopped. The KananJarrus before him didn't match the last recorded version in short-term memory. A quick search of the memory stacks showed that the mask was from Jedi of old, Temple Guards, and it was as beaten and weathered as the rest of the ashed and stoned in this cavern labyrinth.

Chopper didn't understand. Was KananJarrus so bugged that a reboot was necessary?

KananJarrus reached out a manipulator. And fumbled around.

Well this just _wouldn't do_. Chopper started firing questions, not understanding the output of KananJarrus and needing some point of reference in order to write a proper translating program to understand what was _going on_.

"Chopper, I can explain later, but we _need_ to hurry. _Vader_ is up there."

DarthVader.

DarthVader that had almost destroyed the fleet at it's inception with a single TIE fighter. DarthVader who had bested the entire Crew. DarthVader whom Chopper did not wish to face again, down to his very circuits.

But that _still_ didn't explain anything!

KananJarrus was still fumbling with a manipulator. "Chopper, I _need_ your help. Now more than ever."

Well it was nice to be appreciated, _finally_ , but that was just an attempted hack to avoid the query!

Finally, with a heavy sigh, KananJarrus removed the mask.

This didn't compute.

This did not compute _at all._

KananJarrus no longer had visual input. Instead, deep angry red burns and charred scorched exterior, the visual inputs seared shut.

Chopper couldn't quite stop the whine that escaped him. No wonder KananJarrus's output had been flawed. KananJarrus was lacking a primary source of input.

…. This….

What….

Chopper needed to rewrite all of his KananJarrus subroutines. This was… This needed change. But Chopper didn't have enough variables to do such a thorough recoding.

KananJarrus put his mask back on and reached out again.

But this? This, Chopper could recode.

He rolled forward without complaint, pulling out a manipulator, and placing it in KananJarrus's manipulator.

"Thanks, Chopper. Now get me up to Ezra."

If KananJarrus was in such a condition, Chopper shuddered to think what EzraBridger was facing. With gentleness that surprised anyone other than CaptainHeraSyndulla, Chopper guided KananJarrus around to the _Phantom_ and then ignited his rocket to get back up to his position. KananJarrus wouldn't be able to pilot. That much was obvious.

 **End**

 **Author's Notes:** Oh, look, as season 2 finale ficlet. What a surprise. Even we wrote one.

Except this isn't the real season 2 finale fic. That's next week. This one is just a little tag scene. Once the two of us understood Choppers POV we wanted to experiment, and this was a good spot to do that. Prior fic reviews said we wrote a really good Chopper, and we hope this continues to impress. It's kind of fun writing his POV, it makes us nostalgic for our college days when we were writing programs in C and C++ and C#; XML was just coming out and the New Big Thing was wireless and bluetooth.

Anyway, chew on this before the REAL season two finale recovery fic !


End file.
